It took me a while but I now realize that it’s not just Rusky and I in our marriage. It wasn’t so easy to accept and I admit I am still in the process of understanding that there’s someone else in our relationship. I’ve always thought marriage was a linear relationship that branches out into the kids much like when making a family tree. Only now, six years into our marriage do I know (or begin to understand- I think I’ve always known) that it’s more of a love triangle. God is there. God should be there or else, it’s not going to work.
Even before I walked down the aisle, we’ve been told to put God in the center of our marriage. At that time, I thought that that just entailed that we pray and go to Church together. We’d try to set aside prayer time at night, pray the rosary in the car, read devotionals and attend Mass. I’d always hear myself pray: “Please be in our marriage” but could never really picture or fathom how that was. Should having God in our marriage mean we constantly talk about Him? Does that mean we involve ourselves in every religious practice we could think of? We say “put God in the center of our marriage” over and over but I often found myself wondering what that really meant.
Since mid last year, Rusky and I have been joining our married friends for discussion groups on marriage and family life. The topics are anchored on God’s word and when we share how what we’ve talked about apply in our own marriages, we learn not only about God but about ourselves and our spouses. Hearing other couples talk about their own struggles allow Rusky and I to share things that have been working for us. Hearing other couples talk about their marital victories allow us to learn other ways our own marriage could get better. Just last week, Rusky and I attended the Before and After I do marriage workshop at the CCF center. The very first speaker, Edric Mendoza, talked about this Love Triangle with God and we were even given magnets that illustrated the said relationship. Who knew a piece of magnet could put everything into the right perspective. Somehow, it has become clearer to me what the love triangle meant. For me, from merely asking God to be in our marriage, it has come to mean that we intentionally seek Him. As we continue saying our nightly prayers together, praying the rosary when embarking long trips, going to Mass as a family on Sundays, we enrich these with activities that allow us to both know God more intimately. It makes me realize that as we both move closer to God, we ultimately get closer to each other. For us, attending discussion groups, work. For you, for others, it could be setting time to pray the rosary together nightly. I think at the end of the day, the love triangle means we not only move towards our spouses but as individuals and as a couple, move towards God. Getting to know God more has allowed me to be a better wife because as I aim to please Him, I am motivated to be a better person. As I aim to be a better wife for Rusky, my growing relationship with God has taught me how I could possibly accomplish that.